I'd like to make myself believe

That planet Earth turns slowly

It's hard to say that I'd rather stay awake when I'm asleep

Cause everything is never as it seems

Oh my, it's nearing July. Again time flew really fast when you least expect it. Come september and I'll be 28 years old. Seriously? To say it out loud feels really weird. I still feel so young. Ngee.

On second thought, our big day is getting nearer! Ok, so now I have to really change gear and accelerate in preparing for my wedding. What have I done so far? Let's see.

1. Photographer confirmed. Deposit paid. We'll be using the same photographer on both side. Is it good that way? I don't know. But he takes good pictures. His accommodation is yet to be booked.

2. Homestay for my dear's family already paid for too. Two-storey, fully furnitured, lots of extra mattress and pillows plus ample parking space for rm180 only. Should be really comfortable. I couldn't be happier.

3. Already decided on the wedding card. Still discussing the details inside with him. Should be able to order by next week.

4. Have bought the lace and lining for the ladies in the family. So now will proceed to send to the tailor along with my baju nikah =) I'm still considering the design though. Simple mini kurung or fashionable mermaid dress with extra beading and such? Hmm..

5. Paper bag for guests bought. Actually by my parents quite some time ago. They were so excited. Hehe. Am going to survey the goodies to put inside next week.

6. And tomorrow we'll be on a shopping spree for our hantaran. Yey! Hopefully we'll be able to find most of the stuffs we've listed. I think it's easier to buy everything on one trip since it's not often that he can come home.

Phew. I know I'm so excited and happy preparing but I couldn't help feeling scared. I'm that person who likes to look through and scrutinize every little details until I'm satisfied but there is just so many things to look at. The feeling is so overwhelming. Hopefully I can cross out lots more stuff by July so I can settle down this panic feeling inside of me. Ngee.

~One of my hantaran for engagement from him. Kek lapis Sarawak with our names on each side. I love it! Amazing skill I must say. My nieces and nephews is still amazed with how it was done. Hehe.

Hey, single ladies!

Seorang kawan saya telah menyenaraikan senarai nama single ladies of STFian batch 959 dalam notes di FB. There's still about 50% of us and senarai itu melegakan hati ramai orang. Pastinya yang di dalam senarai lah. Hehe.

Sekian lama kaum wanita sentiasa resah dengan persoalan bila nak kahwin. Biasanya soalan ini mula mengasak seawal mula bekerja. Baru habis belajar, sudah dapat kerja so what's next la kan. Awal-awal boleh lah jawab 'insyaAllah' atau 'muda lagi' atau 'mahu kumpul duit dulu'. Tapi lama kelamaan bila selalu diasak, boring tau. Showing your concern? Please, we don't need it. We are trying okay, so let us be.

Disebabkan hal ini, kadang-kadang rasa malas mahu ke kenduri-kendara. Tidak kisah lah kenduri keluarga atau kenduri jiran tetangga. Asal jumpa saja tak ada soalan lain dah. Rimas tau rimas. Tapi selalunya dengan mak-mak saudara saya boleh tahan lagi. Sebab dah macam mak sendiri. Bila ditanya oleh orang-orang sebaya atau sekitar usia yang saya tak boleh tahan dah. Biasanya mereka ni dah berkahwin. Kadang-kadang baru saja kenal pun. Masa kursus ke contohnya. Tau saja masih bujang terus pop! "Bila lagi nak kahwin?" Haish. Kadang-kadang saya rasa orang sebegini tidak faham perasaan orang lain. Mungkin kerana rezeki mereka berkahwin awal. Tidak pernah rasa tekanan soalan kontroversi ini. Akhirnya kalau ditanya, saya cuma diam dan senyum sopan saja. Tidak perlu susah-susah fikir jawapan.

Kenapa geram? Kerana kadang-kadang soalan ini dirasakan seperti menjatuhkan self esteem. Tau la dah kahwin, seronok pula tanya-tanya orang lain yang belum ada rezeki. Sedih tau. Kebiasaannya juga soalan ini akan dituruti dengan tazkirah percuma tapi tidak diminta. Seperti "Jangan lambat sangat, itu sunnah Rasulullah" atau "Tunggu apa lagi, umur makin meningkat,banyak pahala lepas kahwin". Kami tahu ok, kami tahu. Bukannya kami sengaja. Paling geram lagi "Ko jual mahal sangat ni". Grrrr.

Tapi kalau yang bertanya itu pun masih belum kahwin, langsung tak sakit hati. Boleh buat lawak lagi. "Tunggu kad ko dulu" atau "Aku cop lepas ko lah" Kenapa? Sebab masing-masing dalam keadaan serupa. Jadi masing-masing boleh kongsi rasa, buat lawak dan tenangkan hati masing-masing. Masing-masing pun berjanji yang kalau kami sudah kahwin dan sudah makin tua nanti, kami tidak akan menyibuk bertanya soalan sebegini pada orang lain.

Mesej saya: Save it please, not everybody have the answer to that question. And it's not like we're not trying.

Kepada yang selalu bertanya kepada saya: Saya sudah ada jawapan. Saya bakal berkahwin tahun ini. Yay! Happy?